The wonderfully creepy photography by Joshua Hoffine: website / blog

Damn. I think I'm in love.

When the news was passed on to me this morning, my first thought was "Okay. Umm, okay. I am not going to process this for now". My second thought was "OMG must switch computer on, ONTD's probably breaking the internetz" (they did. Of course.) Which just shows that the processing thing really wasn't happening. It took me about half an hour to start feeling ashamed of myself. I switched the computer on, logged into LJ, and the first thing I saw was "Michael Jackson...", and that's when it hit.

I mean...why? Why is it such a big deal to us when something like this happens? It actually makes me want to cry. Which is probably pathetic, but seriously...it's not just the fact that this is the first real legend gone that's somehow connected to my life, and therefore reminds me of my own mortality and all that crap blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda. I think it's the fact that there is this huge connection, in a way - my dad making me tapes of his music when I was what, 10 years old? I Just Can't Stop Loving Youuuuuu... being the very first song I ever attempted to translate, starting my long and not-so-bumpy road to teaching myself english. Being about 8 years old and pushing the chairs in our tiny living room to the side and then dancing around while listening to Thriller on repeat - the beautiful vinyl thing, going round and round on our old record player. The player's long gone, but my parents still have the record stashed away somewhere. Just...Mothercuntinggodfuckingdamnit. Fuck.

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK.

Rest in peace, man. You'll be MISSED.


Edit: Trust Chris Gutierrez to find exactly the right words, as always.

10 Things To Know About WATCHMEN

10. It's not a super hero movie.
Don't go into this film expecting Fantastic Four or Spiderman 3. Why? Well, first off, Fantastic Four and Spiderman 3 sucked. Second, this film has a few things that those films didn't have — mainly plot, character, conflict, symbolism, tone, and allegory. "But it has super heroes in it — doesn't that make it a super hero movie?" Right, and Blade Runner is a "robot" movie.

( aaaaand it gets better... )


But really, I don't feel sorry for any dumbasses who come out of the cinema bewildered and disappointed because they thought they were gonna see YAY A SUPERHERO MOVIE! Seriously, you don't even have to read the book to know why this one's different (though apparently, the film can be slightly confusing if you don't read it first), it only takes a few minutes to read the Wiki page (which contains spoilers though, obviously). This thing is as far from a superhero movie as you can get while still wearing a cape. It's fucking complex, it requires you to think a whole fucking lot, and it leaves you with a fuckload of moral questions. It's not about "superheroes" - it's about people, and how fucked up they can be. And how sometimes you still like them even if they are.

(WARNING - this is NOT going to be a mature entry)



"My husband and I went to a free screening of this last night. I have never seen that many penises outside of a porn. It was really good, I think people are going to love this movie."



(The movie in question being Watchmen, the film version of Alan Moore's comic book, aka "the most celebrated graphic novel of all time". Now, I don't really know that much about comic books, as I'm not exactly a comic book geek, but I read this one and the thing sucks you in like a hoover from the very start. Fucking brilliant.)

I admit my penis loving self was a teeny weeny bit worried they'd attempt to make this film cockless, in that sneaky "See how clever we are in positioning this random extra's head EXACTLY in front of the main character's naked crotch!" way, but then I saw Zack Snyder talking about The Blue Penis (...you can all take a look at the book...Dave, I guess, was like...at the time, probably, was sitting in his studio - I'll have to ask him - and was like, huh, geez, I guess Manhattan has to be naked, but it's a comic book, right, so what do I do, how...big do I go? And he showed restraint, I gotta say. Umm, which is a good and bad thing, I think, for, you know, a young man reading the book at the time, I kinda thanked him in my mind a little bit...but I think over time we've all, you know, you get comfortable, and then it's like hey, everyone can handle this, right?) and calmed down. Now it looks like the penis is not only present, but it's actually present a lot. That, needless to say, makes me very happy.

It makes sense anyway - if you have an R rating for all the violence and gore and rape scenes and shooting pregnant women and whatnot, a dick or two (or three or twenty six) is not gonna make things much worse. You know - here's a dick! there's a dick! and look, here's another one! and WHOOP, there's the dick again! dicks all around! free dicks for all, just pick one!
Might actually cheer things up a bit.

My bb Stephen King in a new interview with USAWeekend:

"Both Rowling and Meyer, they’re speaking directly to young people. ... The real difference is that Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and Stephenie Meyer can’t write worth a darn. She’s not very good."

...and to make it even better, someone in the comments is suggesting that...that...that uncle Stephen is...ahahahaha...omg...is jealous of Smeyer's success. Stephen Fucking King. Jealous. Of Smeyer's success.

Ahahahahahahahahahahahaha omg brb dying.



I love you Stephen. I love you.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Oxfam's petition calling for a ceasefire. Anyone from anywhere can sign this.
For the UK - Amnesty International's message to the government that you can send.

Just saying. In case someone actually gives a shit.

You know, maybe the passing of Proposition 8 is a good thing. Maybe people were just too complacent before. Maybe this is just a really fucking good wake up call.

( From Saturday, November 15th 2008 - say NO to H8 )

Also, the subject of my last entry got me all melancholy, so I went fishing for my favorite old boyband songs/videos on youtube...and now present you with THE BOYBAND LOVE POST OF DOOM. Come on, you know you want to. ( Embrace the cheese! )

Anyway, the Best Ever Boyband Video Award goes to *drumroll*...if this one isn't totally obvious then paint my ass green and call me Dr Avocado & Mr Lime.

And the Best Ever Boyband Song? This one wins, because it's just a great song, period. I suspect that's got something to do with the fact that as boyband members go, Tony Mortimer actually possessed some real song writing talent.
Do you remember the time when you were mine
Brighten up my day like a star would shine
We had no money, honey, but we didn't care
We had something special
Like no other lover could compare
We had dreams and desires, aspirations entire
When we made love you'd hear the angels in choir
Was a love of lifetime precious like a goldmine
But you had to go - where, I don't know
And now I spend my night time sleeping alone
In bed by the phone
So why don't you call me
So why don't you call me
Tell me...
The music plus his voice, the way he sings/raps it...somehow, the lyrics lose the cheesiness and actually become quite charming. He makes it work. Even today, I still adore this song. Not for the "ahh, good ol' times" factor, but for the song itself.

Mmmmm *sniffs* Bought the American Cream conditioner at Lush yesterday, and my hair still smells all nice and sweet although I washed it last night. Wonderful (they called me Wonderful, so I said "wonderful" if you insist!) *runs away singing*

FIRST GAY COUPLE IN BOYBAND VIDEO
This is just so fucking amazing. No words can describe how fucking much I love them for doing this.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I got soul, but I'm not a soldier



...two of their guys had a stall at the Fall Out Boy gig at Wembley on wednesday. They let us watch the video on their iPod, and we ended up buying a DVD, I kind of geeked out a bit (if you can call it that) and told them about Ishmael Beah's book, and...yeah. I like being reminded that all my favorite bands are the good guys who give a shit about something else than themselves.

Somehow, even after a bath, I still have a tiny reminder of the lyrics Ellie wrote on my arm (hey! I'm not gonna be sentimental, because I'll see you soon...♥). And I didn't even realize how much I needed the dancing / moshing / singing&screaming your lungs&heart&voice out until it was actually happening.

And I'm still kind of shocked that the nine of us managed to stay together throughout the madness and no one lost anyone. That is some achievement right there.

Shit like this makes me feel so. fucking. hopeless.

I support charities, I give money to the homeless, and I can go now and give some money to Oxfam, but as long as the big bosses and politicians don't act, and as long as most of my fellow citizens just don't give a shit and close their eyes and don't even stop to give a fucking one Pound fifty to the guy freezing his ass off on the street selling Big Issue...what the fuck can I do? All this going on while corporations like AIG get fucking billions of bailout money and spend it on expensive hotels and hunting trips.

Yeah, enjoy your money.
Fucking choke on it.

Well alright, I guess it ain't racist if it's a "social experiment".

RIGHT?

I hope this stupid, ignorant, racist, disgusting excuse for a human being will have to explain this little "social experiment" to the Secret Service.

Honestly, this level of stupidity...my brain can't even process this anymore. An old lady at a McCain rally babbling about not trusting Obama because "he's an Arab"...a guy holding up a sign saying "OHIO CHRISTIANS !AGAINST! BABY-MURDERING MUSLIMS FOR PRESIDENT"...
I mean...wha?
And before I can go properly WTFF??? my brain just goes ALL SYSTEMS SHUTTING DOWN on me and that's it. Because if it didn't, it would have to think about the fact that there are thousands and thousands of people in America (and elsewhere) who believe that:
1) Arab/Muslim = EVIL and BAD
2) Arab/Muslim = terrorist
3) Obama is an Arab, a Muslim, or both, and therefore
4) a terrorist
5) and if not a terrorist, then a horrible disgusting liberal who will force abortions on everyone and let the gays roam free to spread their filthy gay virus everywhere, until the society falls apart and ARABS AND MUSLIMS WILL BOMB US AND EAT OUR CHILDREN
6) and therefore, TO BE SAFE AND SOUND, we have to bomb all the Arabs first (because they're TERRORISTS, THEY'RE ALL TERRORISTS ZOMG), including the kids because they're all going to grow up to be terrorists, and if some Americans don't agree with the bombing THEY HATE AMERICA AND ARE TERRORISTS and we need to spy on people and read their emails and listen to their phone conversations just in case they happen to be terrorists and we need to jail people for years without trial and torture them because if we don't torture them they won't confess to being terrorists can't you see it all makes sense and shut up waterboarding isn't torture because George W. Bush said so. And we're all safe and happy and free as a bird.
7) God bless America, the land of the free and the brave (and all our friends too! but America a bit more).

"He who trades liberty for security deserves neither and will lose both."
Thomas Jefferson

I gots a chest infection!
Woe.
First my throat, then a fever, and then the bitch went down to my chest. So I had to give up and go consult the smart peoples. So now I'm on anti-biotics (and I hate having to do that, because the suckers just weaken your immune system in the long run), and after about a day they seem to be starting to work, I'm feeling better. But still, POOR LITTLE ME. Woe. Woewoewoe. *sadpuppyface*

Okay. Now let's talk about the Jonas Brothers. Because I have a few points to make.
Well alright, actually I have just one point to make. Here we go:

...
So...purity rings? Fucking purity rings?? O RLY?
You mean, as in...as in this wonderful piece of manmeat is strutting around, showing off that oh-so-fine piece of ass and that wonderful bulge and that wonderful all the rest in its fine, manmeat glory, but...but not actually fucking?

Like, no one is allowed to bang that? That doesn't even make sense. Complete travesty. Because let's face it, if God exists? He wants to bang that. I sure as hell want to bang that. I want to bang it hard. I want to bang it day and night and night and day. I want to bang it till his pubes fall out. I even watched some new live video of them performing some song, which means that I ACTUALLY LISTENED TO THESE PUPPETS FOR 3 MINUTES, and while the little girls in the audience were screaming their little heads off, my mind kept wandering between "Man, this shit wouldn't work even if I was 12 years old" and "Yep, still want to bang that".
*sigh*
World? Please, please start making sense again.

Also, as a Hanson fan, I have to say it...this is the video mentioned above. Now, dear Press, PLEASE BE SO FUCKING KIND AND STOP COMPARING THESE TOOLS TO HANSON. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME OR WHAT? HANSON WOULD OUT-SING AND OUT-HARMONIZE THESE BITCHES WITH THEIR MOUTHS SHUT, THANK YOU VERY FUCKING MUCH. Yeah, I'm talking about that thing at the end. WTF is that shit? You wanna harmonize? This is how you do it, fuckers. Now drop the mics, return to kindergarten and don't come back until you've learned the basics.

Yes, I'm being a horrible elitist. No, I don't give a shit.

PS: YES PLEASE. GIMME. NOW.

More from the VMAs. Apparently, the audience didn't really like Russell Brand that much. Well, how surprising is that? A hall full of american pop-and-other dumbass stars (I mean, Speidi was there. Never heard of Speidi? Consider yourself EXTREMELY lucky) and a camp british guy with VERY british sense of humor. Oh Russell. They do understand funny, but trying witty on them? Was never gonna work, bb.

The Gem:

"Some people, I think they're called racists, say America is not ready for a black president.
But I know America to be a forward thinking country because otherwise why would you have let that retarded cowboy fella be president for eight years?
We were very impressed. We thought it was nice of you to let him have a go, because, in England, George Bush wouldn't be trusted with a pair of scissors."

ILU Russell.

Rant 1: So. A person who's been on my flist for...more than three years suddenly de-friends me, with no explanation whatsoever, and when I ask what happened, I'm being ignored. Wow. It's called "manners" or "basic human decency". Learn some.

Rant 2: Yesterday at the VMA's (HOW HOT WAS BRIT BRIT? SERIOUSLY.), Russell Brand made a joke about promise rings, and Miss Jordin Holier-than-thou Sparks didn't like it. Direct quote: "I just have one thing to say about promise rings. It's not bad to wear a promise ring, because not everybody – guy or girl – wants to be a slut."
...
O RLY???
So you're either an innocent, pure virgin saving herself for marriage, or you're a slut. Thanks for clearing that up for me, Jordin.
Cunt.
And seriously, what the fuck is it with this trend lately? Everywhere I look there's some stupid little Disney or Whatever star yapping about purity rings and saving themselves and it's the right thing to do and I'm a good role model and I'm pure and innocent and blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda.
You know, for someone who hasn't actually got a sex life, you do go on about it a whole fucking lot.

Rant 3: This one's not mine, but is one of the most awesome and spot on things I've ever heard anyone say on the subject - rape.
IT'S NOT "FEMINISM" IT'S COMMON FUCKING SENSE.
This. This and the "dessert analogy" is something that every single human (especially the male half of the population) on this planet should read.

America (and World), there's always hope.
Especially if Jon Stewart's around.

Everytime one of those pops up I lose a testicle.

This man. Owns my soul.

WHAT.THE.FUCK.

"conspiracy to commit riot"

...

...

...

I just...there are no words. I'd love to believe that something like this will finally piss people off and like, 5 million people will show up, but really? The majority of citizens of western countries (Britain included) are ignorant little shits who just don't give a fuck, and they won't give a fuck until they find themselves in jail for saying so much as "Oh, but wait a second..." - and by the look of things, that moment isn't that far away now.

You hear that funny, snickering sound? That's George O going "Told ya!"

Emma Watson for Vogue Italia. The rest. Stunning, huh?
I wish I could play dress-up for a living. You know, letting people put you in haute couture, do your make up, make you look beautiful. Sit around looking pretty, getting photographed.
But then again, if people were about to put this on me, I'd open my mouth, say "Hey, wait a minute, what's this thing made of?" and that would be the end of that outfit. Somehow, I don't believe a thought like that even crossed her mind.
Point? I can't even be all "Yay, pretty pics!" once. It's tiring, and annoying...but good. Because I'd rather be tired and annoyed than this level of shallow.
I don't know why I'm surprised though - this is Vogue. It's not fashion if they can't dress you in an animal.
And congratulations to Emma Watson for pissing me off, which is something I never thought was possible. Never say never, I guess.

And seriously, how endless is this? That's the saddest part. I only found out recently how silk is made. I mean, who cares, it's just a caterpillar, right?
But it's something living that has to be killed so I could look pretty. Jesus. I don't want this. I don't want anything to be treated in insanely horrible ways, forced to live in hell, tortured, or/and killed so that I could have a steak or a chicken nugget, or look good. I don't want kids somewhere in a foreign country to work like slaves so that I could have a cheap, pretty t-shirt. Some things are still too hard for me to do - I can't afford most of the fair trade clothes just yet. But I hope I'm doing my best. You can always do better though - for some reason, it only occured to me today that I can buy my own hand soap at Lush and put it on the bathroom sink next to the normal one. No one would mind. It's like a constant fight for your brain not to become too comfortable.

So yeah. Beautiful photoshoot. Beautiful woman.
It's just the feeling like I'm gonna be sick any minute that I can't get rid of. And you know what, I'm kind of grateful for that.

Seriously, America? Sometimes you make it extremely hard not to laugh at you. Sometimes, it's impossible. Watching footage from the democratic convention was...fascinating. Hillary's speech was good, and she really couldn't have done more to knock some sense into that bunch of her supporters, but other than that?
Holy shit, you people are hilarious. It's like a freaking Backstreet Boys concert. You and your little posters with your catch phrases to wave around, with everyone repeating said catch phrases so that the herd could sing along to something they recognize and wave some more. The guy before Hillary was the best - FOUR!.....MORE!.....YEARS!.....OF!.....THE SAME! repeated about 13564676 times, and God, was the crowd happy. It's like watching a huge group of 5 year olds listening to one teacher after another promising them lots and LOTS of chocolate icecream. LOTSSSSS OF IT, KIDS! So let's all wave and cheer and clap, and of course, don't forget to do a standing ovation every half a minute!

I really didn't know whether to laugh at the ridiculousnes, or cry because of the stupidity of it all.
Yes, I know not all Americans are like that. And truth is the republican convention is going to be even worse (not sure I actually have the stomach to watch any of that). But Jesus, that shit was unbelievable.

As for Obama's speech? Well...

- "and we will keep our promise to every young american - if you commit to serving your community or our country, we will make sure you can afford a college education"
- "you don't protect Israel and deter Iran just by talking tough in Washington"
- "i will rebuild our military to meet future conflicts, but I will also renew the tough, direct diplomacy that can prevent Iran from obtaining nuclear weapons, and curb russian agression"
- "and I will restore our moral standing, so that America is once again that last best hope for all who are called to the cause of freedom, who long for lives of peace, and who yearn for a better future"

Not to mention the "fighting poverty and genocide" part, or the one about responsibility of businesses to create "american jobs" and look out for "american workers".
Damn, it's called "reading between the lines", you people should try that sometimes. Okay, it does take some energy, because you know, you'd have to actually pay attention to what is being said, but come on, it can't be that hard. One of the worst things about it is the way he's able to put the words together in a way that appeals to everyone, while no one really notices it. Subtle stuff. And I don't even know what to say about the above quotes. What a nicely wrapped pile of bullshit.

And the worst thing is, this guy is the BETTER option. I'll never ever understand how the people become this cheering, naive, happy clappy herd, over and over again, not even properly listening. This guy isn't your savior, he's just another cunt who can talk well. It's just that the other option is even MORE of a cunt.

Honestly, this whole situation is so fucking depressing.

FUCKING.DEPRESSING.

There's your catch phrase.

HILARIOUS QUOTE OF THE...WELL, EVER.

George W Bush on the Russia-Georgia conflict:
"Bullying and intimidation are not acceptable ways to conduct foreign policy in the 21st Century"

HA
HAHA
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
You go, Bushy. You tell them. You tell them how to do it the right way.

Oh God. Maybe one day, this cunt will be hanged just like Saddam was. Well, probably not, but you know. A girl can dream.

Well did you hear, there's a natural order?
Those most deserving will end up with the most
That the cream cannot help but always rise up to the top
Well I say...shit floats

If you thought things had changed
Friend, you'd better think again
Bluntly put, in the fewest of words:

Cunts are still running the world
Cunts are still running the world

Now the working classes are obsolete
They are surplus to society's needs
So let 'em all kill each other
And get it made overseas.
That's the word, don't you know?
From the guys that's running the show
Let's be perfectly clear boys and girls:

Oh, cunts are still running the world
Cunts are still running the world
Ah, yeah!

Oh, feed your children on crayfish and lobster tails,
Find a school near the top of the league
In theory, I respect your right to exist
I will kill you if you move in next to me
Ah, it stinks, it sucks, it's anthropologically unjust
Oh, but the takings are up by a third,

Oh, so cunts are still running the world
Cunts are still running the world
Cunts are still running the world
Cunts are still running the world

The free market is perfectly natural
Or do you think that I'm some kind of dummy?
It's the ideal way to order the world
Fuck the morals - does it make any money?
And if you don't like it, then leave
Or use your right to protest on the street
Yeah, use your right, but don't imagine that it's heard

No, not whilst cunts are still running the world
Cunts are still running the world...

(Jarvis Cocker - Cunts Are Still Running The World)
Indeed.